Cherry's World | Roy Cherian Cherukarayil's Philosophical Literature, Visual Arts and Music: Parenthood

Showing posts with label Parenthood. Show all posts

Friday, January 30, 2026

PARENTING TIMES - FUNNY TWISTS - 4 - VINTAGE SWAGGER?

Our interactions with our children open up the gates to the understanding of our personality. This is another funny moment between the parent and the child and how the child perceives the personality of the parent.

The hubbub around the school was something I had already got used to over the many years that I had been there to pick up my daughter. The incessant honking of bikes, cars, school vans and school buses, slowly inching through the school road generated a special kind of sound effect for my ears. There were too many vehicles parked on either side of the road and many vendors on the pavements, selling their stuff to the students. This was the normal scene. The school road had a lovely canopy of trees, and one could never feel the heat of the day even during peak summer. Birds were pretty active on these and their droppings from such a height, created a music beat of a different style.

It was ten minutes to 3.00 pm and I was eagerly waiting for the school bell to ring. I was sporting my father’s dark vintage Ray Ban glasses with the pretty outdated rectangular frame. I had often wore this whenever I went to my daughter’s school, much to her disapproval. On most of the days, she would tell me jovially that it made me look much closer to a stern police officer’s profile, because I was already a person who by nature portrayed a very serious demeanour, most of the time. On the rare days when I was a shade jovial and relaxed with her, she would say with a laugh that the glasses made me look more like a Malayalam cinema villain. I must accept that I loved both these points coming as feedback although they were stated jovially. It unknowing brushed my big ego each time. I loved looking serious and this feedback only drove to be more so. But I had never been overt about this liking to anyone.

The school bell rang and I could hear the happy screams and banter of students erupt as they made their way out of the school premises slowly. A big bunch of students huddled right opposite to the school, around the bakery and the ice cream shop. It was the normal routine of a bunch of students. They enjoyed a quick time together before parting for the day to their homes or tuition centres.

I spotted my daughter step out of the gate. She waved and increased her pace as she walked towards me. I took her bag from her and as I turned to walk towards the car, she stopped me. “Appa (Her way of addressing me Dad in Malayalam), why don’t you walk with me to the other side of the gate. Some of my boy classmates are there waiting for their vehicles. They will get scared seeing you. It would be fun. Come on”, she laughed and tried to persuade me. This was nothing new. She persuaded me this way, every time I sported the vintage sunglasses. I would always refuse stating one reason or the other. But that day, I went along with her. Her boy classmates were taken by surprise and each one scampered into different directions and disappeared into the building again. I relished the moment. My daughter was also happy.

These funny moments happened a few more times in the following weeks and my daughter laughed to her heart’s content and it gave me a fine ego boost. I would call it the façade multiplier effect.

My daughter was a great admirer of my father. She would watch him in awe when he spoke over the phone or to a set of people who came whom especially when there was an issue that had to be addressed. “Appacha (Her way of addressing Grandpa in Malayalam) has that swagger. The way he takes decisions and backs it. He is great. The way he presents himself, there is a persona that fills the space and puts the people around in mode of attention and deep respect.” I think I would have heard her say this multiple times whenever we got a chance to discuss about him.

And then, I heard it one day from her. We were returning back from school and I was driving the car. “Appa, you missed scaring the boys today,” she said laughing. “I have told them that you would like to meet each one of them. They are really scared thinking about it,” she said laughing again. She was observing me closely whether I was in a fine and jovial mood. I was. “But Appa, you know that swagger that Appacha has. Only he has in our family. I mean this is even including our relatives. You don’t have it,” she laughed. “You are faking it well though,” she smiled with caution and laughed again. It actually jolted me inside in a very funny way though, as I never expected something of this type from her. We were in the middle of a traffic jam with vehicles honking around, but the jolt was such that I was numb to what was happening outside. This was like the straight opposite of the impression that she was triggering inside me whenever I wore my vintage glasses and walked around. It took time for me to come to terms with it but I told myself that I am not my father and neither is he the person that I am. We can always draw inspiration and try and emulate. But imitation can be the sincerest form of flattery. After a few minutes of silence she came up again. "Appa, you look handsome today," she said with a smile. She was making up. We laughed together as I drove forward.

You may also be interested in similar posts listed below:

https://cherryspace.blogspot.com/2019/02/parenting-times-funny-twists.html

https://cherryspace.blogspot.com/2019/05/parenting-times-funny-twists-2.html

https://cherryspace.blogspot.com/2025/02/parenting-times-funny-twists-3-all.html

FOR MY BOOKS, PLEASE VISIT THE LINKS BELOW (FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED):

POEMS OF LOST LOVE

Poetry book 'INDELIBLE ETERNAL ETCHINGS':

https://www.amazon.in/INDELIBLE-ETERNAL-ETCHINGS-emotions-unbridled-ebook/dp/B072J4L656/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=indelible+eternal+etchings&qid=1583428166&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/INDELIBLE-ETERNAL-ETCHINGS-emotions-unbridled-ebook/dp/B072J4L656/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=indelible+eternal+etchings&qid=1583428402&sr=8-1

STORIES

https://www.amazon.com/Pearl-Every-Oyster-Stories-Shorter-ebook/dp/B07948GRVC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1H9GU3Q8JNH29&keywords=a+pearl+from+every+oyster&qid=1583428722&sprefix=a+pearl+from+ev%2Caps%2C363&sr=8-1

For other countries, please visit the respective Amazon sites.

Sunday, February 16, 2025

PARENTING TIMES - FUNNY TWISTS -3 - ALL ABOUT KEYS

Our children play great roles in our family and often come in as short and sweet buffers in the daily dynamics of life. Sometimes they lighten a heavy situation and make things easier for us.

On a rainy night in 2012, I was in a car with my boss, driving from an office location in Chennai. It was around 11.00 pm when he dropped me at the front gate of my home at Chennai. A shower of rain had just gone by. I opened the gate carefully, trying to minimize the otherwise crude sound that the lock generated. My Dad stayed on the ground floor. I could see through a window that the lights on the ground floor were switched off. I presumed that Dad would have gone to sleep. I climbed the stairs to the first floor. The lights up the stairway had still been left on, but the house was dark inside, except for the small patch of light creeping out from below the door of my daughter’s room. She was still up studying. I rummaged through my bag for the keys to the grill door of my home. I could not find them. I was not sure whether I had taken the set of spare keys with me while leaving for work that morning. I did not want to disturb my family at this late hour by calling out to them. I made another futile search. Unlike the scenario in USA and Europe, working late beyond office hours in India on normal days when there were no real exigencies at work, was nothing new. The families of such employees had long got used to this scenario.

While I stood there, hesitating to ring the doorbell, I could spot the silhouette of my old neighbour with the dim light emerging from the door of his house. The red ember of his cigarette tip kept coming out brighter and then went a shade dull as he enjoyed probably his last smoke for the day. From the corner of the steps running up to the terrace, a cat peeped out and waited for me to get into the house. Its demeanour seemed to almost convey that I was a trespasser in my own home at this time, as I had probably disturbed it from its everyday relaxation and sleeping spot. A slow stream of rainwater flowing out from a leaking rainwater outlet pipe on the terrace, engaged in a camaraderie with the flowerpots kept on the first floor. The persistent cry of a newborn emanated from one of the houses nearby while a dog howled somewhere on the next street with a distinct variation in pitch. And all of a sudden, there was complete silence again.

I decided to press the doorbell button and went for it it twice. Since my family would have gone into their rooms after dinner and would be either in front of the television or with the mobile and using earphones, the chance of having heard it was remote. The window of my daughter’s room was next to the wall where I was standing, and so I mildly knocked on the window of her room. The silence that followed again seemed to be getting louder. It could be that she was having her headphones on and wouldn’t have heard me knocking. I waited.

The rhythmic sound of a train passing through a nearby station reduced the intensity of the silence a little. Soon I could hear a bike going through the street at abnormally high speed. The nonchalance of the vehicle and the sheer disdain with which it treated the potholes and the speed breaker, stood out in my mind for a few seconds. I thought that the driver could be a local person who knew the street well. For a moment I thought how beautiful it would be if the trajectories I took in life, were such familiar ones. But they were not. It was strange that the dominant thought in my mind was on the trajectories of life.

I went for two more shots on the doorbell and two louder knocks on the window of my daughter’s room and it so happened that my wife had come out of her room that time and was heading for the kitchen. She heard the doorbell and spotted me standing outside. “So, you forgot the keys again? How long have you been standing here?”, she asked with a mild agitation. She opened the grilled door. My daughter also came out of her room and was there with my wife by this time. “Why are you coming home this late these days Dad? What role are you playing now at work?”, asked my daughter while giving me a hug. I hesitated for a while as I was not sure of the definition of the role I was essaying at the office. I did not respond and pretended as though I had not heard her. She did not persist in the question either, probably assuming that I was tired. I went in and had my bath and spent some time with my daughter. My wife and father had already slept by that time.

I revisited her question again. “Well, I am a senior now, and I cannot be rigid on the boundary of a role my dear”, I told her. “You have a role here too, isn’t it?”, she reminded without taking her eyes from the Python code on her laptop screen. There was a long silence that lingered between us. She was right and that balancing between office and home had to be beautifully done by me. That was the key to a happy life ultimately. I had to leave pretty early the next morning as there was a client visit, and I was one of the individuals identified for presenting a few topics to them. I hit bed after wishing my daughter a good night’s sleep.

I think the alarm that I had setup for 6 am the next day, would have shaken up the whole house. Even my father, staying on the ground floor, woke up. It was still dark outside when I lazily made my way up from bed. A soft wind brushed past the bedroom window, and the leaves of the bamboo that stood beside it, kissed the glass pane a few times. I loved this demeanour that nature portrayed early in the morning. It was like a graceful welcome as the day opened. The milk van making its way through the street, slowed down and went over the speed breaker gracefully. Everything seemed to be beautiful in the morning.

The whole house knew what a big fuss I would make to be punctual at the office. I would also push each person at home to be punctual in their activities too. I had finished my bath, got dressed up and was having my breakfast. “Have you kept the keys inside your bag?”, asked my wife. She didn’t wait for me to confirm. She checked my bag and ensured that the key bunch was there. I hugged my wife and daughter and made my way down the steps to the ground floor. My daughter also followed me as she wanted to see me off at the gate. My colleague’s car had just come to the gate to pick me up. I stopped at the window on the ground floor. I would wave to my father every day from this point, as he would normally be seated in the living room, close to this window, on a long reclining chair, running through the day’s newspaper. He was not there today. I waited and wanted to go inside and see him before leaving. Just then, I saw him come out of the room and head towards the reclining chair. He saw me. Just when I waved my hand, he asked “Why are you in such a hurry? Are you the one who is going to be the first at the office gate with the key to open it?”. I knew that there was mild agitation and sarcasm loaded in that statement. But I thought it was valid. I did not say anything. “See you in the evening Dad’, I said and moved forward. “Don’t worry on Grandpa’s statement Dad. He was only asking you whether you are playing a key role at the office:)”, quipped in my daughter with a smile while winking her eye. My face transformed from a serious mode into one where I laughed out loud😂. She was also laughing😆. With that lighter moment set, I joined my colleague and headed for office, waving to my daughter. She had also conveyed the same message that my father had put forth, but with a different touch.

From the moment when I had stepped into my home the previous night to the moment I left home that morning, it was all about keys.

You may also be interested in similar posts listed below:

https://cherryspace.blogspot.com/2019/02/parenting-times-funny-twists.html

https://cherryspace.blogspot.com/2019/05/parenting-times-funny-twists-2.html

FOR MY BOOKS, PLEASE VISIT THE LINKS BELOW (FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED):

POEMS OF LOST LOVE

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

UNSEEN TEARS

When the sun is up and in full cry,

And I play the tough role of a parent,

Sometimes being too protective

And sometimes chiding for crossing thresholds,

Often challenging the limits of our temperament,

We retire hurt and with thorns in our heart.

But when the moon and the stars shine,

And my little one has surrendered on sleep’s altar,

I kneel close to her bed

And watch her beautiful face as she sleeps.

Tears trickle down my cheeks,

As I realize that how much ever I parade,

Like a tough parent throwing my weight around,

I am still a slave in front of her,

Who never wants to hurt her or see her cry.

FOR MY WRITINGS, PLEASE VISIT THE LINKS BELOW (FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED):

POEMS OF LOST LOVE

Short Story book 'A PEARL FROM EVERY OYSTER':

https://notionpress.com/read/a-pearl-from-every-oyster

https://www.amazon.in/Pearl-Every-Oyster-Stories-Shorter/dp/1948473151/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3GI23X9JIKQGK&keywords=a+pearl+from+every+oyster&qid=1583428674&sprefix=A+Pearl+from%2Caps%2C302&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Pearl-Every-Oyster-Stories-Shorter-ebook/dp/B07948GRVC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1H9GU3Q8JNH29&keywords=a+pearl+from+every+oyster&qid=1583428722&sprefix=a+pearl+from+ev%2Caps%2C363&sr=8-1

For other countries, please visit the respective Amazon sites.